I just threw up on my dentist
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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