I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
