I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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