can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't deserve a penis
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
