We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
