I am spending my child support on dildos
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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