I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!