I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.