Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.