She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos