You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
