I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
