if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
