dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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