what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
