my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize