oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
