I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize