i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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