Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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