I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
