that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
