I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize