Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We got so high we made milksteak
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
