seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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