So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
please come you make the beer taste better
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
