Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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