just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
