Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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