Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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