She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
