I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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