Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
