Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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