I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
