Only a mothe r could love this liver
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
