This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
