Already got asked if we're dating
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
