Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
