the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
