Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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