you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
only you would photoshop your dick
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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