Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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