i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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