i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize