My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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