she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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