Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm at about main and main street
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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