Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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