My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
