I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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