I seem to have left my pride at pride
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize