tell your sister to shave her snatch
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
