omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
