Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
