woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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