I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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