Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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