You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize