After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
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Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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