using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
