How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
