we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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