Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
