So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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