so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
