there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
