I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
